Raising Nerds - Chapter 4

Raising Nerds Chapter 4

Beware the Hulk

Illustrations by Megan Scheidler

There is an old saying that states “Be careful what you ask for,  you might just get it”.  The saying is speaking about the consequences of things that we aren’t thinking about or prepared for and usually applies to things like fame or wealth. However, it is especially true with children. Everything we may want for our kids, if it came true, could have potential drawbacks, and being a nerd is no different. That being said, let me take you back to the long ago days of 2012 for a humorous tale of caution.

Not my eggplant, Thanks Google

It was Halloween night, and it was time to start trick or treating. Logan was dressed as the Sentinel of Liberty: Captain America, and Luke, debuting in his first Halloween, was dressed as the Eggplant of Anger: the Hulk.  Candy was bountiful, and my super heroes answered the call of defending the right of every child to eat entirely too much candy in a single night.  It was as pleasant as any Halloween night could be.  However, unbeknownst to us, what happened to Luke that night would have grave consequences for the entire planet. Apparently, store bought costumes of the Hulk are dipped in Gamma radiation, because, from that day forward, our little, mild-mannered Luke could Hulk out at a moment’s notice.

We didn’t notice the rage taking over at first, but all too soon that would change. Luke was always such a cheerful boy, until his arch nemesis would appear. What creature, what being in the universe. could be so terrible that it would cause the Hulk to roar to life in our little Luke? There is only one thing so despised by children that even its name hides the torture that it holds.  As many parents will attest, of course, I am referring to: THE CAR SEAT!!! 

While to you and me this may seem like such a mundane thing, but to Hulk Luke, this is his kryptonite, causing him to pass out into an uncontrollable state of drooling should he be completely locked and restrained. It is that fear that begins the epic battle of Hulk Luke versus THE CAR SEAT and his minions, namely me and Megan. The battles are frequent and epic in scale, the casualties are too many to name, but that grande vanilla latte was too young to go out that way; it shall be missed.

Of course this is completely ridiculous and absurd, but ever since that Halloween night, he is our little Hulk.  The idea that this nerd has of somehow choosing your kid’s destiny based on the first Halloween costume they wear does seem pretty cool. If we have a girl one day, I think I will dress her up as the Sif. She is strong, independent, and noble, and that way,  no guy is going to mess with her.

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